Speaking their language.

I’ve always heard about “love languages” when it comes to your spouse…how to love him the way he desires to be loved. You’ve probably heard of the book by Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages. Such a great book and very eye opening! If you’ve never read it or looked into this concept, you should. In fact, there is a quick quiz that you can take to discover what your love language is, if you aren’t really sure. Knowing these things about yourself and your spouse is so incredibly helpful and will really benefit your marriage! Anyways, it wasn’t until recently that Ryan & I thought about the fact that our children each have their own love language already too! We are all wired differently and different things make us tick. Our kids are no exception! In fact, tonight I just noticed online that Gary Chapman also wrote a book called The Five Love Languages of Children.

Ryan and I have talked about this a lot recently…it really is so interesting to me. Once you realize the language that speaks directly to the heart of someone you love, so many things make more sense! Communicating and expressing your love becomes easier.

Here’s what we have figured out about each of our kids…

Addi’s top love language is words of affirmation, followed closely with quality time. No doubt in our minds. When you praise her about something, she just lights up. Telling her how great the picture is that she just colored, talking about how good she’s doing in school, how proud you are of her, and the nice way she treated her friends, etc. These things make her smile bigger than any other time. She also tells us how much she loves us all the time. “Mommy, I love you.” Words, of course, that always melt my heart. It’s very apparent that she also enjoys quality time. One on one time. Tonight, before I put them to bed I was thinking about all of this and so I asked her, “Addi would you rather me tell you I love you or give you a hug to show you my love?” And she responded knowingly without any hesitation, “I’d rather you take me to the park!” Hahaha…she’s a smart one. But she’s right, she does like for you to spend time with her doing activities, puzzles, games, coloring, cooking, playing, etc. You can tell it makes her feel special when you schedule time for just her. Although she may not want to sit in your lap or even close to you, she wants you to be in the same room. She likes the closeness and security of that.

Kam’s main love language is most definitely physical touch. She is our cuddle bug and has been since birth. Always wants to sit in one of our laps, be held, give big bear hugs, kisses (or smackers as we call them), dance, hold hands, etc. When we put her to bed at night, she will gently rub my face with her hand. She loves to comb Daddy’s hair or massage his back, which he loves and never turns down the offer. She still likes to be rocked. When we drop her off at school or in her class at church, she always has to kiss the top of our hands before we can leave. She also has used the same blanket since she was an infant…it’s actually her crib bedding! She carries it around everywhere and can’t go to sleep without holding it close. Every morning, she walks up the hall carrying her blanky and comes to climb in my lap for a while before we do breakfast. So stinkin sweet. Whenever I’m feeling down or having a tough day, I can always count on these sweet tender moments with her as we cuddle. I adore this about her!

I love our precious daughters and their sweet little hearts. I love how different they are. I love how they love. Our prayer as parents is that we can always speak their language so they understand, and never doubt, that Mommy & Daddy love them unconditionally!

One Reply to “Speaking their language.”

  1. Clay and I also have been talking about this a lot. We got the book for Christmas and also got his book “What I wish I had known before we got married.” My love language is words of affirmation followed by quality time and personal touch. Clay’s love language is personal touch and quality time. It really is a neat thing to think about and know about your husband or wife. I love reading your blogs!! Love you!

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